2020 - Gratitude Day #8 - Peter

Gratitude Day #8 - Peter

Today I am grateful that I was able to raise my oldest son, Peter.

Many have often read the grief Kerry and I and his siblings experienced at his passing, which I will do again in December.

But today, I want to focus on his life.

Peter was the child I made the most mistakes on as a mother. He was the oldest, so perhaps he was the guinea pig. I had never done anything like this before, and hadn't spent much time around children my age. I certainly hadn't spent much time around babies. So, he was who I had the most experience with.

There had been two miscarriages before his birth. There had been some issues that made further pregnancies a high-risk. I was a gestational diabetic. I was huge. I was at church the day before his birth, and a man told me he had never seen anyone as big as I was that day. I later learned that often gestational pregnancies produce bigger babies.

Peter came into the world just before 7:00 pm on Monday, 23 Apr 1979. I never knew what pain was until I had given birth. And, having your first baby weigh in at 10 lb. 6 oz. nearly left me nearly ready to say that he would be an only child.

But, that would have been a mistake. He and his siblings brought special wonderment into our home.

After I was strong enough to walk down the hallway to see him, I saw all of these normal sized babies laying in their little bassinettes. Then, I saw my ten pound baby who looked twice the size of the rest of them. I had given birth to a toddler.

He was a gentle baby who began sleeping through the night at three weeks old. It was hard to fill him up, due to his size. His gentle nature would follow him throughout his life.

Peter grew up around music. When he was about age four, I was practicing a piece that was to be sung at church in a couple of days. I went into the kitchen to check on something, and heard the exact music I had been playing. I peeked in, and Peter was sitting at the piano playing by ear - at the very same age I had begun to play by ear.

It was rough on him when a new sibling joined our family. I just don't think he knew what to do, and would often regress. He cried. I cried.

His early school years were fine, but eventually they turned into nightmare years for him. Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have pulled him out and away from all of the bullies who continually picked on him. Kerry and I talked with teachers, principals, parents - all of whom would ask what Peter did to cause the other child to behave this way. If only I had...

It wasn't until his graduation that a teacher and a group of students came up to tell me how much they would miss him. Unbeknownst to us, he had given up each lunch period for about five years to spend his time with the disabled students - to read to them, to sing with them, to have them sit on his lap while they listened to stories, etc. Kerry and I had no idea he had done that. It kept him from eating alone in the cafeteria.

His gentleness and his tender heart likely made him a target in his young life, but also enabled him to reach those who had experienced situations such as his. He was phenomenal with older people. My dad's second wife had to be in a nursing home for awhile. Nobody could get her to cooperate by eating correctly, walking around the perimeter of the building, doing exercises, etc. One day I walked in to see Peter walking side by side with her as she was talking and smiling. He was able to get her to do what the professional staff could not do.

Peter served and LDS Mission to the Florida Fort Lauderdale area. In those two years he grew to love the people and the area of south Florida. He left part of his heart in that area when he returned home. It would later become his permanent residence. I am still in contact with some of those whose lives he influenced.

Peter's talent for music exceeded my own, and it thrilled me! I wanted all of my children to possess a talent or a skill that would benefit her and others in their adult lives. Each one of them took years of lessons, and learned to play other instruments beyond the piano. My pride shows!

Peter was a good young man, and I miss having him in my life. You raise your oldest child to be your oldest child. I will forever be grateful that we were able to raise him.