Gratitude day #4
Today I am grateful for Mr. Kerry's mother.
Shirley Elma Rhoades was one of the most beautiful women I have ever know - both inside and out. Her attitude throughout her life was "the best is yet to come".
From the moment I stepped off the tarmac at the Salt Lake City airport, I knew I was stepping into foreign ground. Kerry had already moved back to his mission field in Maryland, and was working at the Washington Temple. Other siblings had married, with the majority living in Utah.
Kerry would be the first to marry and live all the way across the country. I believe Shirley thought she would have her family near her, but Kerry had already decided that he would probably not live there. Meeting and marrying a girl from the midwest may have been a bit hard for his mom to take.
But, I never knew it. Throughout our years together she would become one of my dearest friends.
One of the most memorable times I can remember was when we were visiting their huge home in central Utah. I can't remember if there was a wedding or some other event going on. But I do remember several of the grandchildren all lined up in the ballroom having a slumber party. I had gone in to check on my four children.
I'm sort of jealous that they had 40+ cousins.
As I was nearing one of the doors that exited out onto a roof-type patio, I heard voices from the yard below. Something intrigued me about those voices, and I paused to listen for a moment.
Shirley was talking with her daughter Gay. Gay was such a talented artist, and had a knack for putting colors, textures, etc. together in a way I never could. Shirley was asking for her opinion on something she wanted to do. Gay was giving her advice.
Let me repeat. Kerry's mother was asking her daughter for decorating advice.
This was totally astounding to me! Remember, I grew up not only as the youngest child, but as an only child. Nobody in my family had ever asked my opinion on anything, and I just assumed "babies" didn't carry a lot of credibility.
I stood and listened a little bit more - and learned. It was really eavesdropping, for I can't tell you to this day what they were even talking about. The whole scenario left a lasting impression that I haven't forgotten to this day. It helped me to realize how valuable my own children's opinions can be.
Through the years, Shirley would often call me when she knew Kerry was at work. She wanted to see how I was doing, for she knew what it was like to raise a young and busy family. I cherish those talks with her.
One of those talks took place in 2002 between Christmas and New Year's Day. She had been coughing, and I asked her if she had been sick. She said she just couldn't seem to get rid of that lingering cough. By 28 Feb 2003, she had passed. That conversation was the last one I had with her, for cancer took her quickly.
Let me share part of her obituary with you...
"Shirley graced life with elegance and had an exquisite flair for taste and beauty. Her remarkable talent and creativity inspired others to develop their own talents and special traits. Her driving force spearheaded many remarkable contributions to the community, including the Sanpete Community Theater, the Ephraim Co-op Building Restoration and the Scandinavian Festival. As an adventurous spirit who loved to travel, she explored over 40 countries and every continent except Antarctica. Compassion and culture were her hallmarks, and generosity and love were her gifts. Her family was most precious to her, as were her many friends from around the world."
When she passed, the world lost a true lady. How many women do you know behave themselves as true ladies today?
I am grateful she was Kerry's mom, who raised him from a fine boy into a fine man - the best I have ever known.
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