2020 - Gratitude Day #30 - Mr. Kerry

 Gratitude Day #30

You know that I'm saving the best for last.

Today I am grateful for Mr. Kerry.

For the past ten or so years, I have always begun the month with my mom, for it is her birthday. And, I end the month with Kerry, for tomorrow is our anniversary. And yet, I often will receive a PM asking me why I haven't expressed gratitude for Mr. Kerry.

This is why.

Kerry is a good man. When we began dating, I wasn't exactly thrilled with him. He greased his hair down like Bowser (Sha-na-na), and seemed stuck in the 1970s. Well, it was the 1970s.

But, my parents adored him!

After his proposal, I hemmed and hawed for a week when my dad asked me if I was planning on giving this poor boy an answer soon. I waffled, for I didn't know. I mean, he was a nice guy, but that *spark* wasn't there. Dad looked at me and said, "You had better do some deep thinking about this, Peggy. How many people would be willing to live with you?"

Truer words were never spoken.

Kerry's pros far outweighed his cons, and after deep prayer, I decided to say yes. I told him after working at the Washington Temple one day, and he nearly drove off the edge of the road.

If I had not married him, it would have been the single biggest mistake of my life. And, I know that.

He married me when I was heavy, and continued to love me as I nearly doubled in size, never once saying that it might be better "if I just lost a little weight".

He sat by me and wiped my brow through every labor and delivery, and cried at the four miscarriages that we both suffered through.

He was by my head when I woke up from surgery, softly telling me they had found cancer. He held my hand when the doctor came in to tell us more details.

We held each other tightly when we buried my mom in 1984, then again when we buried his sister in 2000, my dad in 2002, his mother in 2003, and his father in 2004. We held each other like the world was coming to an end when we lost our son in 2009. It had come to an end...at least, the world we knew.

He supported his family working as a letter carrier for thirty years, showing his children by example that they would always have a place to live, clothes to wear, and food to eat.

Just like his father, he is a scriptorian. He has never once preached that we should all follow his example of prayer and scripture study. He has quietly found a nook to study and ponder. Throughout these 42 years, I have often walked by his office as he is deep in study, or have caught him kneeling and praying. I wish that his children could hear those prayers as he names each one, petitioning God to watch out for them and keep them safe.

Kerry is the best person I have ever known. He married a very unsure girl, seeing potential in me that I couldn't/didn't see. He has supported me every step of the way, and believed there is nothing I can't do, even though there are things I just cannot do.

When I was younger, I didn't have enough sense to:

1. Look for a man who would change diapers right along beside me.

2. Be up past midnight helping me finish up cleaning and canning a bushel of pears or apricots.

3. Continually bring his family together for family prayer, and pack the family up to bring us to church; sitting with us and singing at the top of his lungs.

4. Look for a man who loved God more than he loved me.

Kerry is the type of person who is good when no one is looking; pure integrity.

As we reflect on our upcoming anniversary tomorrow, we will pause and recall our lives through the past 43 years of our lives. We are good to each other. We are good for each other.

And, I wouldn't be who I am without him.

And so, I end my month of gratitude postings, knowing I could go on posting every day until the end of my life and never come close to running out of things to be thankful for. If I were to die this night, I hope that I would be remembered for having a grateful heart.

May I never lose site of what I have been blessed with...even the air that I breathe.

I thank you for reading my posts; some are personal, some are preachy, some are tiny posts that all show gratitude for each and every part of my life. I thank you for your comments. I thank you for the PMs.

May you all look for ways to be grateful, too.

#givethanks

2020 - Gratitude Day #29 - Miss Harmony

 Gratitude day #29

Today I am grateful for Miss Harmony.

A couple of people wondered why I hadn't included at the beginning of the month as I mentioned particular family members, which included her three brothers.

It's because today is her birthday!!! And, she deserves this day to commemorate her coming to earth.

Miss Harmony came along just a little over 2 1/2 years after oldest son Peter. She was five days late. Last night, I recalled that Saturday evening years ago when labor began. I thought it would be a breeze, for I had already given birth to Peter, who weighed 10 1/2 lbs.

No. Of all of my four children, Harmony's birth was the hardest, and the most intense. And, at that point in my life it was the closest I had come to death. I can still recall the doctor's words, "We're losing them both."

She was born in the wee hours of Sunday morning, with enough time for Kerry to call the bishop to announce her birth. Someone got the information wrong, and it was announced that she was 9 lbs. 12 oz., and was 12" long.

Length - 12"? That would be like a bowling ball. 

I recall walking down the hall at the hospital to see her later that Sunday morning. As she lay all nestled in the bassinette, my eyes filled with tears and my heart was full. A daughter.

Just two weeks later she would play baby Jesus in the Church Christmas play.

Harmony held her own with three brothers. As my mother (oldest of a family of eleven brothers) used to say, "She doesn't have to be stronger. Just louder."

Harmony and I "get" each other. There were so many times when we just gave each other that knowing "look" without saying a word. 

There was a time when she was a bit exasperated that her dad wasn't quite understanding something she was talking about. I got it perfectly. But, Kerry was still trying to grasp it. She looked at me with a look of "Mom! Can you help him?"

I took that time to help her understand that there really is a difference between men and women. It doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong. We just have different ways of perhaps seeing things. Just be patient, lean in, and don't worry about it. It's a good opportunity for both sides to learn.

Harmony is a good daughter, and I am so grateful that I was not the only female in the house. Her childhood was one of frilly little dresses and overalls. Of doing hair together, and watching her scale a tv antenna. Of daddy/daughter dates, singing with her brothers, cooking, and watching her go into the US Army.

Happy birthday, Miss Harmony! We love you so...

2020 - Gratitude Day #28 - The Change of Seasons

 

Gratitude Day #28

Today I am grateful for the change of seasons.

We get everything in Ohio. I have sweltered. I have frozen. However, every single season has something so beautiful to offer us.

Springtime takes my breath away! The green that emerges on the lawns, the fields, and the trees is a green that we see no other time of year. It's fresh and vibrant and reaches toward the sky. The flowers are just beginning to emerge. The critters are happy and scurrying around.

Summertime takes my breath away! There is a laid-back feel to summertime, when the living is easy. I may be one of the few, but I could hardly wait until the school year was over and our kids could just enjoy childhood. I suppose I should have had them working, and cleaning, and doing all of the things that we needed to get done. But, more often than not, I would say, "Come on, let's go!" I would fill up the gas tank after loading apples, peanut butter, cookies, and whatever else we had...and, we would go get lost. We traveled on every back road I could find. When Kerry had the day off, we threw him in the van, too.

Autumn takes my breath away! There is something about "all is safely gathered in". We can learn a lot through watching the animals as they also get ready to wind down. In our house, it was preparation time for us as we dehydrated and froze and canned food, stocked up on needed supplies, filled up the fuel tank, readied the vehicles, and got ready to nestle in. The drives we took to see the resplendent colors still leave me in awe. I love driving through falling leaves as they swirl around, and I love walking and hearing their crunch under my shoes.

Winter takes my breath away! I love being hunkered down with a pot of soup bubbling away on the stove. At this stage of my life, I love not having to go out if I don't want to or need to. I love the clean and fresh, pure snow before it gets all mushy. I know that wintertime is not a favorite of everyone, particularly if you work as a letter carrier like Mr. Kerry did. But, I think how much the farmers depend on a good snowfall to replenish stores for the summer crops.

It would be difficult for me to live where there was no change every few months. I'm okay with change. I love rain beating against the windows and spring breezes carrying the fragrance of my lilac tree through the living room windows.

I love living in an area where we have the joyful experience of sweet smelling springtimes, playful summertimes, the crunch of autumn, and hunkering down for the winter cold.

It would be difficult for me to live where it is either cold and dark, or warm and balmy all the time. I have experienced a sampling of that when:

1. We visited Russia. The sun didn't come up until 9:00 am, and by 4:00 pm, it was pitch black again. That would make for a very long night.

2. I have visited my sisters several times in the winter when they owned homes in Florida. No...I don't think I could get used to a hot Christmas or a decorated palm tree. We were also in Mexico during late fall/early winter. Christmas decorations were out, and I was sweating.

Now, this is me. I am pure Ohioan, so I am used to the change in seasons. I look forward to it. They each have their beauty, and their aggravating times, too.

I can find good in just about everything I see, because that is what I look for. Mom told me if I look for bad, I will certainly find it. If I look for good, there's plenty more of that.

So, tonight I am nestled in my warm home with a blanket on my lap, a candle burning close by, a computer on my lap, and a husband softly snoring. We are awaiting a storm that should arrive sometime Monday; but we are safely gathered in.

It's a perfect evening.

2020 - Gratitude Day #27 - Work and Occupations

 Gratitude Day #27

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to work.

I've had tremendous examples in my own family of people who believed in hard work. I will begin with my own father.

Dad's education was scant, but he could do just about anything and build just about anything. He spent his years as a coal miner, a foreman at a Pepsi-Cola plant, and worked in maintenance at Westinghouse. In addition to those jobs, he had his own business of repairing refrigeration and air conditioning from skills he learned in the Navy.

Mom didn't work outside the home much, but she did clean for a lady while she was expecting me. All of these years I wondered where who I was named after. It was the lady she worked for. When I was in elementary school, she was one of the cafeteria ladies. Everybody loved the cafeteria ladies!

My sisters were all in the medical field, working long hours standing on their feet as registered nurses and x-ray technicians. The men they married weren't slackers at all. They worked hard to provide for their families.

Kerry's dad went to night school for eleven years to obtain his CPA, in addition to the huge dairy farm, a shopping center, and other enterprises he owned and operated.

Me, well...I raised kids. And, I do genealogy.

But, I want to repeat a story about Mr. Kerry...

Kerry worked as a Letter Carrier for 30 years. It is during this time of year that I am grateful that he retired 10 1/2 years ago. He walked on average 7 miles a day, no matter the weather. He walked when it was cold, rainy, snowing, or blistering hot.

Though he had a uniform allowance, there was a time many years ago that he wore out his shoes before the allotment came due. We didn't have much money, but he had to have black shoes. So, we went to KMart and bought what we could.

Through the busyness of raising children, I didn't think to ask him how they were working out. When I did, he simply said, "Oh, they'll feel a bit better when they're broken in."

A few days later, I went to the basement to do laundry. As I was sorting it all out, I noticed some clothing was very stiff. It was his socks. Every pair was bloodied around the ankles. He had walked and walked and never complained once.

I sat down and wept. This kind and gentle giant has been willing to do whatever it took to provide for his family - even when it hurt. Again, I have learned a lesson in not whining.

Such a good man...

My parents would tell me there is no shame in the job you do, but there is in your performance of that job. That's why when I commit to something, you will never have to worry about it again. It will be done with me working my hardest.

#givethanks

2020 - Gratitude Day # 26 - Thanksgiving

 Gratitude Day #26

Today I am grateful for Thanksgiving.

It has never been Turkey Day, or Gobble Day, or anything else. To me, it's Thanksgiving - my most favorite holiday of the entire year. To me, it unites all of the holidays for the year into one - the gratitude I feel for Christmas and Easter, for military and country holidays, for our own birthdays and those of the ones we love.

The entire month causes me to pause and reflect on the great blessings that have been and are part of my life. I could go on posting one each day for the rest of my life and never run out of things to be grateful for.

In times past, Kerry and I drove through the countryside to the shores of Lake Erie to gather at my sister's house. I would often pause my reading and looked around, grateful for the dairy farmers who never get a break, for the sheriffs, police officers and medical workers who would be on hand if we had an accident, for the men and women in our military who are missing their families at home to serve our country.

I reflected back on two meaningful Thanksgivings from years ago that came into my memory today. The first was when son Peter was living in Florida, and was purposely not staying in contact with us. We received word that things were not good with him; so Kerry and I made the decision to drive to the Fort Lauderdale area. We prayed fervently and felt good about our decision, having no idea of what would happen.

We met friend Linda Clark and her two daughters Lisa and Debbie Lupinacci. After searching in areas I would personally never want to return to, she thought she just might know where to find him. She gave us directions, and Kerry and I left.

It was basically a needle park. We sat in our car and looked around nervously for quite awhile, and then...I saw him. I told Kerry to look in a certain direction, and when he did he asked me if I was sure it was him.

Never ask a mom that question.

I jumped out to run toward my gaunt, vacant-eyed, malnourished, stringy-haired, dirty son, calling out his name. He turned with a look of shock on his face. I embraced him, and felt Kerry's arms go around the two of us.

Peter looked at me, and quietly said, "Mom, I'm hungry."

Get in the car and let's go!

We drove back to Linda Clark's apartment, where he ate like he was famished. He likely was. He just could not stop wolfing down that food.

We sat and talked, and asked if he wanted to come home. We made it very clear that there would be no illegal drugs in our home, and that there would be no 1-2-3 chances, then you're out. There would be one chance. I will not go to jail because of the choices of another. He would have until 4:00 pm the next day, for we had to begin our return trip to Ohio.

He was honest, and said he didn't know if he could make that promise, and we respected that. We supplied him with plenty of food, but not one bit of cash. We had already learned that lesson.

Right up until the last few moments, he still could have chosen to come, but in the end he remained in Florida.

Kerry and I felt assurance in our prayer that we would find him, not even beginning to know how it would happen. That unfamiliar metropolitan city is big. But, we had time with our son, and were so grateful that we did.

The second memorable Thanksgiving took place with son Jordan as he served in the military. He was station in Norfolk, VA and had invited us to come to him for the holiday. He arranged for us to stay in very nice housing on base, so off we went.

What a beautiful and tender Thanksgiving it was. Our military members are taken care of quite well, for when we went to enjoy our dinner and all of the fixin's, I stood there with my mouth agape! We haven't seen that amount of food anywhere before! And, it was all good and piping hot, and much of it had been brought in by the local community. It was positively delicious. I was grateful for the good care that was given to our military. I had also flown to be with him when he had surgery, and was aware of that same good care.

So, on this cold, crisp, clear Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for:

My family. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that means more to me than my family. We travel many miles each year to see them, and are grateful that were able to, and that they want us to come.

My home. As I mentioned in a previous post, I live in the most beautiful home in America, and have the most beautiful house.

My country. Oh, my gosh, do I ever love my country. We've survived so many tragedies, and have always recovered. I hope we always can.

My church. I don't get real preachy on FB, but today is a day for me to recognize the goodness that being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been for me. It has brought me to being more Christlike than if I had ever made the effort on my own.

My God. My Eternal Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I have a personal relationship with each of them. When the time comes that I am able to meet them face to face, I hope and pray that I will be able to look upon their face. I hope and pray that I will want to.

So, on this beautiful Thanksgiving evening when my belly and my heart are full, I quietly reflect on my having lived a very good and rich life. There have been bumps along the road, which I prayed would go away.

And, they didn't.

But, my back was made stronger.

I have been writing my gratitude posts for a number of years now, and perhaps they are a bit cheesy. Perhaps they are the same old same old.

Perhaps they are meant for Peggy to remember.

Those of you who have posted in the #givethanks initiative have touched me to my core. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have been invited to show our gratitude to God and perhaps help to heal the world with more positivity. I have even noticed posts from people not of our faith! I thank you, for I know that many of you have had a terrible year. Yet you dug deep and still found the most important things to be thankful for.

PS...I thank you for the times you have asked to be remembered in prayer. Some have been public. Most have been private. And, I have been honored.

2020 - Gratitude Day #25 - Missionaries

 Gratitude Day #25

Today I am grateful for missionaries.

Missionaries do hard work. and I am grateful for those who have had a direct impact on the course of my life. There is much sacrifice on their part, and on the part of their families.

In the 1940s, my parents and sisters were living in Logan County, West Virginia when Mom opened the door to two missionaries.

Accepting their call as a missionary to West Virginia, they came ready to preach the gospel. My parents' house was one of the doors they knocked on. When Mom answered the door, she wasn't looking for any church at all; but there was something that resonated in their message.

And, after listening to their teachings over a number of lessons, she made the decision to be baptized, along with my three sisters. Dad wasn't interested at all, so don't bother him with it.

This was in 1948, when women often did the bidding of her husband. Mom was going to do it with or without him. I believe she recognized truth, and saw a way to better her family.

So, in September of that year, she and Fern, Jean, and Betty were baptized. And, it began to change our family forever.

A couple of years later, Dad had moved the family to Ohio for three reasons:

1. To find a better job.
2. To secure better education for my sisters.
3. To make sure there was no Mormon church. (The missionaries had gotten a little too pushy for Dad. Dad would not be pushed in anything.)

Two years later, Dad was baptized. Three years later, I was born.

Mom had her door opened to missionaries all of the years that she could. There were "cottage meetings" in our home, along with great meals.

Years later, another missionary would make an impact in our family - Mr. Kerry. He left his home in 1971 to serve two years in the Delaware/Maryland Mission. It was during that time that the Washington DC temple was under construction. He fell in love with that part of the country, and returned a few months after his release from his mission.

Washington, DC Temple - Kensington, Maryland

Just two years later, I would meet this young man who had remained true to everything he ever taught on his mission. We married eight months later.

Two of our four children also decided to serve missions. Peter answered the call to serve in the Florida Fort Lauderdale Mission 1998-2000. I was nervous, for he was our oldest and the first to leave home.

It was a beautiful area, but it was also difficult. After his return, we learned of some of the abuses that go along with missionary work - doors slammed in their faces, beer cans thrown at the spokes of their bicycles, etc. But, he also fell in love with the area, and returned there to live after his return home.

At the  Columbus, Ohio airport - shortly before leaving for the Missionary Training Center.

Son Erik also decided to make application to be a missionary. And when his call came, we rejoiced and danced around!

And then, it hit me hard, and I cried. And, I cried.

He was going to the Russia Samara Mission.

Russia.

When I was growing up, Russia was the enemy. We all knew they were going to "get us", and often did the duck-and-dives under our desks at school. I didn't know how I was going to handle this.

It took pure trust and confidence on my own part to be happy for his call, and to send him off with a cheerful heart. But, we did. And, we were able to join him at the end of his mission to tour throughout some of the cities where he served.

We joined him at the end of his mission in December 2005. It was cold.

Kerry's father served a mission in the Southern States, as well as several of Kerry's siblings, aunts and uncles, and other ancestors. Their service has made a great impact on our family.

So today, I am grateful for the missionary army that has served around the world to bring good news to families. Though things have changed a bit due to the pandemic, there are still ways to serve. And, they are doing it.

So, the next time two young missionaries, male or female, knock on your door, be kind. They are someone's son or daughter. They are someone's brother or sister, or a grandchild.

And, of all of the things they could have chosen to be doing at their young age, they chose to serve.

Oh, and me? Yes, I served one, too! I served two years (2014-2016) as a missionary for the FamilySearch Wiki. I was over the Library and Archives for all 50 states, checking to make sure the information provided was good and credible. Anyone with a desire to do the work can find a place to serve.

Anyone.