2020 - Gratitude Day #12 - My Grandparents

 Gratitude Day #12 

Today I am grateful for my grandparents.

It's difficult to imagine that my grandparents were born in the late 1800s. And I knew each of them personally.

My Dad's parents were Richard Lee and Fannie Collier Clemens. Dad was #5 out of eleven children, so I can only imagine how difficult it would have been to raise a family of that size in the hollers of eastern Kentucky. They would raise all but two of those children to adulthood. 

Older brother Cecil had died at three months old from whooping cough. 

Little Betty died while sitting in her big sister's lap in a rocking chair. As she rocked, she would push off on the pot belly stove in front of her, not realizing that with each "push", a pot of beans inched toward the edge.

And, it fell on little Betty. 

This sweet 3 1/2 year old girl suffered for three days before her eventual death. Their feelings on the death of any of their children would be no different than mine today.

I don't think my Dad's family had much money, for it doesn't appear that they lived in one place for very long. I am working on two big projects right now that include ICAPGen renewal, as well as for the First Families of Ohio lineage society. Tracing my dad's family began with him and continuing on back. All I can say at this point is that their life was extremely hard and poor.

But, they made it. It's funny how my sisters and I returned to Olive Hill, Kentucky to look for the house we can all remember making visits to. It was a huge white house with a red roof and a wrap-around porch.

Suddenly it just doesn't seem so huge anymore. My sisters kept asking:

"Where's the apple orchard?"

"Where's the hill grandpa rode a hog on?"

I don't know. I can't help you.

The house on College Hill.

Richard Lee and Fannie Collier Clemens

Richard Lee and Fannie Collier Clemens

My mom came from a good family lineage. I have more memories of her parents than I do of my dad's, for when his parents died I was only about age 5 & 6.

I often wonder how any of my grandparents made it through the 1918 flu epidemic. Mom was the oldest of a large family of boys, and two of those boys were lost during that time. Her aunt Harriett lost three children. It wasn't unusual for people to lose many children or other relatives.

Mom's parents were Corbitt Sullivan Stevens and Bertha Agnes Gearheart. For years I wondered how papa Corb got his name, for we have found no one in the family named either Corbitt or Sullivan. No one. 

So, a few years ago, I asked my uncle if he knew where the names came from. He said, "Sure! It was from two prizefighters!"

I wrote about it here: https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/8363417267053930444/1144019730923837419 

I am grateful for the good and happy times I had visiting their homes, eating their food, and listening to their stories. They are the ones who connect me with history - my history, their history, American history.

The house built by Corb Stevens, Lawton, KY

Corbitt Sullivan Stevens

Bertha Agnes Gearheart Stevens

2020 - Gratitude Day #11 - Our Military Family

 Gratitude Day #11 

Today I am grateful for my military family.

I actually stand in awe of my military family, which extends in both my family and Kerry's family. 

As I have continued on in my research of my own family, I often will run across an ancestor or collateral relative that fought in a war. I was beginning to lose track of them, for when I put them into my database I will often lose track in my mind of who served when.

So, one day I asked Kerry to bring me a list of all of the wars America has been involved in, beginning with the French and Indian War up until the present day. In about a minute he handed me a piece of paper with all of the names and dates. (PS - I could have done it, too. I just didn't feel like it. And, it would have taken more than a minute.)

I began to construct a spreadsheet with the names of the wars across the top, and the name of the relative going down the left side. Then, as I find one it can be quickly entered into the cells. I only put a quick indicator that they served; their detailed information is in my database and files are downloaded onto the computer.

I am now up to 196 military men and women who have served in our family.

This has become so important because of their willingness to serve. Even if they enlisted at a time of peace, they would have willingly gone into action with their unit.

And for that, I am humbled. And, I am grateful beyond measure.

We have even extended this to a room in our basement we call the "Military Room". Kerry is quite the historian, and loves all things history as much as I do. Even this morning we paused in the middle of the road as a tribute was done on a small country road next to a cemetery filled with flags. We watched in quiet reverence.

In this Military Room, I have collected the photos of all of the relatives I know of that have a photo in uniform. My dad's teeny, tiny Navy uniform is there, along with his hat. I have the flag that was draped on his coffin. We also have a collection of all of the freedom documents, as well as an extensive map collection.

So, on this Veteran's Day I thank those who served, those who wished they could have served, those who came back maimed in either body or mind, those who stepped up to establish our country, those who fought and died to free the slaves, and those who are still enlisted and ready to go into action.

They have my gratitude. They have my heart.

2020 - Gratitude Day #10 - Erik

Gratitude Day #10

Today I am grateful for our youngest child Erik.

I honestly didn't expect Erik to be born. Every other pregnancy had been a miscarriage. And along with the physical toll of losing a child, there is an emotional one, too.

Often my friends would ask me how I was doing, how I was feeling after experiencing a miscarriage. But, I don't recall one person ever asking Kerry. He was a father. He had lost a child, too.

But, Erik was supposed to be born. 

I honestly thought I had the flu when the doctor informed me that we were expecting another baby. It was too soon! I hadn't recuperated from having Jordan!

But, ten months after Jordan was born, Erik came bouncing into the world weighing 9 lbs. 11 oz. And, he was three weeks early! Thank goodness for that.

Because I was a high risk gestational diabetic, I had appointments in Akron, about an hour from our home. I had just not been feeling good, and they decided to admit me, and perhaps induce me to get this large baby here.

For five days we waited. My mom was in the hospital across town, and we couldn't even see each other. Then, one morning there was a different kind of pain. They rushed in with ultrasound equipment, then I went flying down the hall.

There had been a uterine rupture, and both of our lives were in peril.

I can recall a nurse straddling me and scrubbing my huge belly with betadine to prepare for the only c-section I would have. They administered an anesthetic that actually went too high up. I couldn't get a deep breath. I panicked. 

Erik was born within four minutes.

And, we were grateful.

After the initial shock and pain had subsided, I remember doing some deep thinking. Years ago this very situation would have been even more precarious. It would have been likely that neither me nor Erik would have lived.

But, we did. And so began our family with four children under the age of five.

I remained in the hospital for five more days, being discharged on 4 July. We immediately drove across town to visit with my mom. She was able to meet every grandchild that they would have.

Erik was also the best child you could ask for. Like me, he was the youngest and was able to have his parents all to himself. He has continued to be a valuable asset to the world, and I will always be grateful for his life.

2020 - Gratitude Day #9 - Jordan

 Gratitude Day #9 

Today I am grateful for our second son Jordan.

Jordan was one of the easiest little boys to have around. And, he simply melted the hearts of those who just wanted to swoop him up and cuddle him.

He was our third child, and came along just a bit sooner than we had planned. He was born just 21 months after Miss Harmony. But, it didn't matter. Our hearts always had room for more.

How interesting it is that we just couldn't think of the right name for him. We didn't know whether he would be a boy or a girl. That wasn't done so much back then.

Then, one day I was unwrapping a shirt I had bought for Kerry. I looked at the label, and it said "Jordan Christopher". It just sounded right. I showed it to Kerry, and he said it sounded great. Besides, his brother's name was Christopher.

Kerry's mom was thrilled that we were naming him after her great-grandfather. Um...no. I didn't know there was someone named Jordan in the family. But it made her happy, so we are grateful that it all seemed to come together.

When this 10 lb. 1 oz. baby boy came into the world, he would be my only child born on his actual due date. He's always been punctual since. The doctor was summoned from the golf course, and was chatting with nurses down the hall when suddenly Kerry saw that this baby was just about to enter the earth. Kerry almost ended up delivering him!

In our home, we always fold our arms and express gratitude to God for our blessings, and petition him to bless our food that it will make and keep us healthy and strong. When Jordan was quite young, we'd had a very busy day. When I finally had dinner on the table, we climbed onto our chairs and settled in. Kerry asked Jordan to say the prayer.

He did the "kid flop", where they just fold their arms on the table, rest their head on them, and mumble something. I kept glancing out of my eye to see when he was finished.

When he raised his head, I said, "Jordan, I am not going to say amen to that prayer, because I didn't hear a word you said,"

He answered, "Mom, I wasn't talking to you."

Score.

Jordan enlisted in the Army not long after high school, becoming a member of the Army band (French horn). I love military bands! While stationed in Sierra Vista, AZ, he met a beautiful young girl, and at age 19 he married her. I told Melissa she could finish raising him for me.

Though they married young in 2003, they have made that marriage work, and even blossom. Four perfect grandchildren joined their union, and their family is stellar. They are some of the best parents I have seen.

Jordan calls us often to check on us. We have the best conversations, and can feel his love across the miles.

We are so grateful for this child who came into our family and brought his gentle nature with him.

2020 - Gratitude Day #8 - Peter

Gratitude Day #8 - Peter

Today I am grateful that I was able to raise my oldest son, Peter.

Many have often read the grief Kerry and I and his siblings experienced at his passing, which I will do again in December.

But today, I want to focus on his life.

Peter was the child I made the most mistakes on as a mother. He was the oldest, so perhaps he was the guinea pig. I had never done anything like this before, and hadn't spent much time around children my age. I certainly hadn't spent much time around babies. So, he was who I had the most experience with.

There had been two miscarriages before his birth. There had been some issues that made further pregnancies a high-risk. I was a gestational diabetic. I was huge. I was at church the day before his birth, and a man told me he had never seen anyone as big as I was that day. I later learned that often gestational pregnancies produce bigger babies.

Peter came into the world just before 7:00 pm on Monday, 23 Apr 1979. I never knew what pain was until I had given birth. And, having your first baby weigh in at 10 lb. 6 oz. nearly left me nearly ready to say that he would be an only child.

But, that would have been a mistake. He and his siblings brought special wonderment into our home.

After I was strong enough to walk down the hallway to see him, I saw all of these normal sized babies laying in their little bassinettes. Then, I saw my ten pound baby who looked twice the size of the rest of them. I had given birth to a toddler.

He was a gentle baby who began sleeping through the night at three weeks old. It was hard to fill him up, due to his size. His gentle nature would follow him throughout his life.

Peter grew up around music. When he was about age four, I was practicing a piece that was to be sung at church in a couple of days. I went into the kitchen to check on something, and heard the exact music I had been playing. I peeked in, and Peter was sitting at the piano playing by ear - at the very same age I had begun to play by ear.

It was rough on him when a new sibling joined our family. I just don't think he knew what to do, and would often regress. He cried. I cried.

His early school years were fine, but eventually they turned into nightmare years for him. Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have pulled him out and away from all of the bullies who continually picked on him. Kerry and I talked with teachers, principals, parents - all of whom would ask what Peter did to cause the other child to behave this way. If only I had...

It wasn't until his graduation that a teacher and a group of students came up to tell me how much they would miss him. Unbeknownst to us, he had given up each lunch period for about five years to spend his time with the disabled students - to read to them, to sing with them, to have them sit on his lap while they listened to stories, etc. Kerry and I had no idea he had done that. It kept him from eating alone in the cafeteria.

His gentleness and his tender heart likely made him a target in his young life, but also enabled him to reach those who had experienced situations such as his. He was phenomenal with older people. My dad's second wife had to be in a nursing home for awhile. Nobody could get her to cooperate by eating correctly, walking around the perimeter of the building, doing exercises, etc. One day I walked in to see Peter walking side by side with her as she was talking and smiling. He was able to get her to do what the professional staff could not do.

Peter served and LDS Mission to the Florida Fort Lauderdale area. In those two years he grew to love the people and the area of south Florida. He left part of his heart in that area when he returned home. It would later become his permanent residence. I am still in contact with some of those whose lives he influenced.

Peter's talent for music exceeded my own, and it thrilled me! I wanted all of my children to possess a talent or a skill that would benefit her and others in their adult lives. Each one of them took years of lessons, and learned to play other instruments beyond the piano. My pride shows!

Peter was a good young man, and I miss having him in my life. You raise your oldest child to be your oldest child. I will forever be grateful that we were able to raise him.

2020 - Gratitude Day #7 - Kerry's Siblings

 Gratitude Day #7 - Kerry's Siblings

Today I am grateful for Kerry's brothers and sisters.

Kerry has five brothers and five sisters, and I have enjoyed relationships with nearly all of them. Only one had passed on before I ever met Kerry, so I didn't get to enjoy a relationship with him. But, I surely know about them.

When I first met them, it was foreign to have people in my own age group around me that I could count as relatives. My own parents were old enough to be my grandparents. My sisters were old enough to have been my mother. My cousins were the ages of my sisters.

I had nobody my age around me, which is probably why I have always been more comfortable around older people. This was new ground for me, and I had a bit of trouble keeping everyone straight. Then, when you add their spouses...

Let me tell you about them.

Bill: I never got to meet Bill. He had joined the Army, and was killed in a Jeep accident in Germany when Kerry was just 13 years old. It devastated the family to lose their older brother. However, every group picture that was ever taken of the entire family included a framed photo of Bill. His place in the family was evident by this loving gesture.

Steve: This is the brother who just passed away in August. We found out the evening of our virtual family reunion. Steve's profound grief at the loss of his older brother never went away. Shortly after Bill's death, Steve served and LDS Mission in Nauvoo, Illinois, and returned to be sent to Viet Nam. His wife and four children were such a pleasure to be around at our reunions.

Content: She has always possessed that nurturing part of womanhood as the oldest daughter. She served her LDS Mission to Japan at the same time Kerry was serving in the Delaware/Maryland Mission. Her husband and five children, including one from her husband's previous marriage have been good and contributing adults in the world.

David: David is one of those strong men that hides a gentle heart. His wife Martha was in the Tabernacle Choir for twenty years, and their seven children are scattered around the west, and often communicate with Aunt Peggy. David served his LDS Mission in Finland.

Kerry: Well, we all know about Mr. Kerry. He will have his own post at the end of the month. I will say that our four children have grown up to become our good friends.

Joy: Joy and her husband Reed are nearing the end of their fundraising bike ride on Route 66 to raise money for ALS. Joy can do just about anything, and amazes me at her talent and logic. Her four children are amazing, as well.

Gay: Gay just didn't get to live long enough. She is the one who died of ALS, and I can't tell you how much I miss her. Her artistic talent extended from sculpting to being the set director on movies. If you see the Mount Rushmore scene in "Overboard" - that was her creation. Her husband took such good and tender care of her. She served her LDS Mission in Calgary, Alberta.

Christopher: I have had some of the best conversations with Chris. He is retired military as a Colonel, and has seven wonderful children. The sons followed their father right into military service. Her served his LDS Mission in Bolivia.

Kelly: Following his retirement from the Army as a Bird Colonel, he has continued to work for the State Department with several overseas assignments. I love reading his wife's detailed descriptions of their explorations and adventures of the country where they are assigned. Their four children have also done amazing things with their lives. He served his LDS Mission in Germany.

Charm: Charm's artistic talents are every bit as stellar as her sisters'. I have always been astounded at her simplicity in living, and how to make do with little. When she visited with us several years ago, I watched her prepare such delicious food with a simplistic fair. Her daughter spent many years training in ballet, and her poses were worthy of framing and journal publication. She served her LDS Mission in Argentina.

Harmony: This woman listens with her heart before she speaks. She is an Adult-gerontology Nurse Practitioner, but also possesses the artistic talent that runs through the Lauritzen family. She served her LDS Mission in Finland.

So, these are the brothers and sisters I inherited when I married into the Lauritzen family. This is a good, good family that has always made me feel like I am part of them.

And for that, I am grateful.

 

2020 - Gratitude Day #6 - The Sisterhood

 Gratitude Day #6 - The Sisterhood

Today I am grateful for my three sisters.

They don't let me get away with anything. Anything at all.

Though they were nearly grown when I was born, our years have caught up the age gap between us. Kerry asked me once what it was like to have had four mothers. I told him I've never known anything different.

Two of my sisters were born in eastern Kentucky, and the one closest in age to me was born in West Virginia. All of them have told me of the extreme poverty they lived in, and they have all expressed their gratitude at my parents who made their lives as good as they possibly could. Not easy. But, good.

Fern is my oldest sister. She was in Nursing School when I was born. When mom went into labor they sent word to her, and she was present at my birth. Actually, she was the one who held me first, for mom was still under ether. She worked as a Registered Nurse her entire life. She and her husband built there dream home on Catawba Island in Lake Erie.

Jean was also in Nursing School when I was born, but not in our town. She lives in the same town here where I live. She was the one I called the most when I was raising my own family. She lives on a large farm in a house that was built in the mid-1800s. Lots of family dinners were enjoyed there.

Betty was age 16 when I was born. She used her nickel to call the hospital to see what mom had. Then, she joined her friends and kept on swimming at 10:30 pm. She raised her family of two sons and a daughter in Akron. We talk every single day, and laugh at our memories.

Today I am grateful for my three sisters.

They don't let me get away with anything. Anything at all.

Though they were nearly grown when I was born, our years have caught up the age gap between us. Kerry asked me once what it was like to have had four mothers. I told him I've never known anything different.

Two of my sisters were born in eastern Kentucky, and the one closest in age to me was born in West Virginia. All of them have told me of the extreme poverty they lived in, and they have all expressed their gratitude at my parents who made their lives as good as they possibly could. Not easy. But, good.

Fern is my oldest sister. She was in Nursing School when I was born. When mom went into labor they sent word to her, and she was present at my birth. Actually, she was the one who held me first, for mom was still under ether. She worked as a Registered Nurse her entire life. She and her husband built there dream home on Catawba Island in Lake Erie.

Jean was also in Nursing School when I was born, but not in our town. She lives in the same town here where I live. She was the one I called the most when I was raising my own family. She lives on a large farm in a house that was built in the mid-1800s. Lots of family dinners were enjoyed there.

Betty was age 16 when I was born. She used her nickel to call the hospital to see what mom had. Then, she joined her friends and kept on swimming at 10:30 pm. She raised her family of two sons and a daughter in Akron. We talk every single day, and laugh at our memories.

Many of you have read of our genealogy adventures. Sometimes all four of us have made those trips, but it's often Fern and Betty and myself. Jean has just never gotten into genealogy, though she does like the stories. As all of us have aged, I fear those trips have come to an end. However, all it takes is for one of us to mention one thing from a trip, and the memories will come flooding back.

See if it works. Betty...cheese sandwich.

Now, we wait.

All three of my sisters are known for behaving like a lady. You will never anything coarse, or vulgar, or unbecoming in their behavior when you're around them. Class. Pure class. They learned it from Mom.

My sisters are precious to me, and I am fortunate to still have them in my life. I have often wondered why in the world I came into the world so many years after them. 

I don't know. 

But, it has all worked out.