2019 - Gratitude Month #12 - Our Children

Gratitude day #12

Today I am grateful for my children. More grateful than words can begin to express.

Raising a family was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As Dr. Phil says, "I wouldn't give you a dime to do it again; and wouldn't take a million dollars for the experience."

Our children were Peter William (named for the middle names of his father and grandfather), Harmony Rebekah (named for Kerry's sister and Rebekah of the Old Testament), Jordan Christopher (the brand name of a shirt), and Erik Joseph (the Danish spelling of Erik and he was born on the anniversary of Joseph Smith's martyrdom).

Peter had turned five years old two months before Erik was born by emergency c-section. We had just moved into our present home. My mom was extremely ill and would die three months later. Jordan had been in and out of the hospital.

I thought I had died and gone to hell.

But, little did I know at the time that I was indeed born to do hard things. Being the youngest child in my own family, I hadn't been around children much, and I discovered that there was much to learn.

These children were and are wonderful. They have been one of the biggest blessings I could ever imagine, for they helped me to grow right along with them.

They were good children. They behaved well in public places, in church, and mostly at home. They brought God-given gifts and talents with them when they entered this earth that blessed us, and blessed others.

To those who knew them, here is an update:

Peter - he died nearly ten years ago. I have often talked about his death, and will do so again on the anniversary of his death in December.

Harmony - lives in Oregon and is doing a stellar job in her classes at Portland Community College. She has been doing behind-the-scenes work in film production, and has found her niche. We will be seeing her next week when we visit.

Jordan - he and Melissa live with their four children in northern California. They are excellent parents, and their children are perfect. Jordan works in the control room at an oil refinery, and loves his job.

Erik - also lives in California working as a mortgage broker. He prides himself on keeping fit and running marathons.

Peter asked me one time if I miss the times when everyone lived at home. No! A strong NO! However, I do miss "moments", such as trips, holidays and birthdays, Sunday after church when we would walk through the door and smell dinner cooking, our backyard activities, mowing and weeding and cleaning the yard - followed by jumping into the back of the pickup truck to make an ice cream run, etc.

I could go on and on.

These children of ours have brought me to tears, both out of frustration...and joy. Part of this is because:

Adults produce children.

And, children produce adults.

How grateful I am for the four who were sent to our home. I am who I am because of you.

2019 - Gratitude Month #9 - Kerry's parents

Gratitude day #9

Today I am really grateful for Kerry's parents.

I mean really, really grateful.

Orson and Shirley Lauritzen were two of the finest people that I have ever known. When Kerry and I were engaged, we flew out to Utah about three months before the wedding so I could meet them and his siblings.

I was overwhelmed at their grace, and how they made me feel so welcome in their home. Orson took to me right away, and provided time for some wonderful conversations about the importance of marriage, and the relationship that makes a successful marriage. It took Shirley a bit longer to warm up to me, for Kerry was the first of the children to really step out of that "Mormon Corridor" on the western front. He had served his mission in the Delaware/Maryland area, and loved it so much that he returned a few months after his mission was completed. There would be other children who would leave, and even live around the world. But, Kerry was first.

These two wonderful in-laws became two of my closest friends. Shirley would often call me during the day, knowing that Kerry was working. She just wanted to talk and see how things were going.

She taught without making it look like she was teaching. Example: when we had our first baby, I'd had no experience being around young children. They came to Ohio for his blessing (christening), and as she held him she showed me how to hold him to give a little bit of pressure on his abdomen to help him burp. Kerry learned from her other helpful tricks, like how to gently pull the bottle away from his mouth when he fell asleep drinking. It would cause him to begin drinking again.

Little things like that helped me settle in to motherhood.

However, I overheard one of the most extraordinary conversations that I would end up never forgetting. Their house was huge. On the top floor, I could go out onto the balcony and see this massive sky, and also see the Manti Temple glowing in the distance.

One night, I went out there to ponder, and I overheard Shirley and her daughter Gay sitting one the grass below me. Shirley was getting ready to do a project on her home, and was asking Gay's advice on different colors, fabrics, etc. (Gay was an artist.)

That may not seem like much; but I couldn't stop listening. A mother was asking her daughter for advice! As the baby of my family, no one had ever asked my advice on anything. Babies don't often have much credibility, and apparently I had none.

I later told Shirley just how touched I was at this scene, and her words to me were, "I just think that when our children become grownups, we are all equal."

Again, she taught me.

Kerry's dad had a dairy farm with over 400 head of cattle. He had other enterprises, too, but one of his main businesses was that of being a CPA. This is why we've never had anyone else do our taxes. Kerry learned from him just how things work. And, he valued advice from his dad, calling him nearly every Sunday evening throughout his life.

They made every grandchild feel like there was no one more important than them, and made sure they attended every blessing, baptism, and other milestones in their lives. At their death, they had over 40 grandchildren.

When they visited anyone, they made it clear that they did not want to be entertained. They were there to help and to serve. They went to work at our house installing new ceiling fans (Orson was an electrician in the Navy), Shirley wallpapered our bedroom, and she and Erik tore carpet off our basement stairs and stained them.

It was pure joy to have them come. And, I wish I could welcome them through the door one more time.

I am grateful for their marriage example, the enjoyment they had as a married couple, their dedication to hard work, their betterment of the community around them by saving and preserving pioneer time period buildings, and just plain loving their family.

I hope they know that their son is taking good care of me, as per their own example. And, I especially hope they know how deeply he is loved by me.

2019 - Gratitude Month #8 - Kerry's siblings

Gratitude day #8

Today I am grateful for Kerry's siblings...all ten of them!

Kerry is pretty much right in the middle of those eleven children, which is something I cannot even begin to relate to.

Not in my wildest thoughts can I envision growing up with siblings.

He often tells me what it was like to grow up in a family where you always had a playmate. I'm sure it wasn't always a smooth ride, either for the children or the parents. But, they have all turned out into good and productive people who add a lot to this earth.

In the photos below, you will see two of the siblings in stand alone photos. Those are the two who predeceased their parents. Their deaths devastated everyone, particularly their parents. Sadly, I can relate.

My mother used to tell me that if you can get along with the members of your own family, you can get along with anyone in the world.

I see this in Mr. Kerry. He and I compromise on important matters quite well. I'm sure he has that ability from having to do that in the midst of a crowd of siblings. Me? I had to develop this trait, for I never really had to compromise with anyone about anything.

I get along well with Kerry's siblings. I've had some wonderful talks and experiences with them that I cherish. I truly look at them as my own brothers and sisters, and feel I can call them for just about anything.

But, as far as the sons go...I got the best of the bunch!

They are a good family, and I cherish them as my own.

2019 - Gratitude Month #7 - Medical Care

Gratitude day #7

Today I am grateful for good medical and dental care.

Really. I should be dead.

I was born to a woman in her 40s. In today's world, that doesn't seem like much. In 1955, it was. Mom developed high blood pressure that would never leave her; putting both her and me at risk.

I had normal childhood accidents. But, I wasn't often taken to the hospital or the emergency room.

However...in my adult life, I have become a hazard to my own self.

I will always be grateful for the good and tender and clean conditions surrounding me when each of our children were brought into the world. When the last one was delivered, there were some frantic moments that resulted in emergency surgery. We made it, when only a few years ago neither of us would have.

Our children had the opportunity for good care, and we kept on top of it. We wanted to give them the best start in life that we could.

Just over ten years ago, I nearly lost my life due to a bowel obstruction. I can't recall a time where my life was in such peril. I was rushed to Columbus for surgery that began at 11:30 pm, and lasted through the night. I was hospitalized for a month...then was released. Out for a week...then back in with a collapsed lung. Out again...then back in for pleurisy.

It was when I was reading my medical records that I realized what peril I had been in. It also made me realize how important prayer is - especially the prayers of others. I was so out of my head that I couldn't formulate the words to even say one. I had no choice but to depend on the prayers of others to say what I could not say.

It would take me nearly a year to recuperate.

I later learned that a distant cousin would die of the very same thing that I had. He dropped to the ground at a gas station, and they couldn't save him.

For some reason, I was saved. I will spend the remainder of my life figuring out why, and to show my gratitude to God for preserving my life.

My grandmother used to say when your foot, your tooth, or your ear hurts, you hurt everywhere...for, you just can't concentrate on anything when you have pain there.

She would know. She always went barefoot. She had one tooth. And, she couldn't hear very well.

How grateful I am that doctors can tell what is going on in my body without actually having to go in there. We live in a day of medical miracles. May I never forget that.

Ever.

2019 - Gratitude month #6 - The Sisterhood

Gratitude day #6

Today I am grateful for my sisters; aka "The Sisterhood".

I grew up alone. I loved it and hated it both. My parents were older, and didn't really want lots of kids running through the house or the yard.

So, it was just me...with three sisters who were each old enough to have been my mother. It was actually like having four mothers.

I had nobody my age. But, we're all the same age now. Time has a way of catching us all up.

Through the years, I have learned a lot about how to behave with class and dignity as a female. Never once have I heard them swear, or curse, or use the Lord's name in vain, or talk with what I would call a dirty mouth. I've seen them angry and frustrated, but always maintaining their own respect.

They haven't known me for 64 years, but I have known them that long. They're the ones who saw my mom through a pregnancy in her old age, all while they were finishing high school or in their first years of nursing school.

Fern and Jean and Betty and I have laughed ourselves silly at times. We have gone on genealogy trips together, tromped through cemeteries, covered our mouths to keep from laughing when getting directions from a man in Kentucky:

Me (driving): Can you tell us where the Baptist Church is?

Man (sweeping driveway): Well, what's wrong with the Church of God?

Me: Well, not a thing. We're just trying to find the Baptist Church.

Man: Well, you ought to be finding the Church of God.

Me: I'm sure it's a fine, fine church. But, there's a reunion being held at the Baptist Church.

Man: Well, they should have had it at the Church of God!

Me (backing out of driveway): You know, you're probably right. When I find them, I'll be sure to tell them that.

My sisters were trying to hold their faces together. Me? I'm trying to save us all.

We have buried our parents. We have buried two of their husbands and our son. One day, it will be one of us...

And, the Sisterhood will never be the same.

I am grateful to have had such fine women in my life, who took a bratty little sister and elevated her to a respectable level.

They are fine, good, and decent women who helped raise me.

2019 - Gratitude month #5 - America

Gratitude day #5

Today I am grateful for the country I live in.

My family has been here since the mid-1700s on every single one of my lines. I have no one that arrived here in the 1800s forward.

I can't imagine what it must have taken to leave their native countries and head to this unknown, unproven land. They came from Scotland and Ireland, England, and Germany, and pretty much nowhere else. In the 1700s they were all living in either Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, or North Carolina.

Kerry and I have had the privilege of visiting all 50 states, and love the beauty and uniqueness that each one has. I particularly like grazing the best foods through each state, while Kerry will study the maps to imagine how the roads and trails came to be.

As Mr. Kerry is working for the Board of Elections today, I am particularly mindful of the right and privilege of being able to vote. Election day was not a happy time in eastern Kentucky when my parents would have voted. It was a time for meanness, threats, and sometimes shootings.

As much as I love our country, I am also saddened by the hate and vitriol that is prevalent on every turn. I have seen terrible things spewed by my FB friends, and entire relationships destroyed.

One of our Church leaders asked us in the past month to pour our hearts out to God and pray for our country and its leaders. Kerry and I have done that in every prayer, and ask those who also believe to join us in that prayer. We are in need of great healing, and the Great Healer is the one who can assist in that happening.

My heart belongs to this country, to my state, right down to the countryside where I live. I am grateful to have been born and raised here.

And, I pray for it. I can't recall a greater time when it has been needed. We must not turn on each other.