Gratitude Day #30 - Mr. Kerry and Marriage

Gratitude Day #30

You know that I'm saving the best for last.

Today I am grateful beyond words for Mr. Kerry. And, the reason I save him for last is because tomorrow is our 41st wedding anniversary.

Yay for us -- 41 years!!!

I didn't much like Kerry when we first met and began dating. He was alright; but I was just sure that each date would be our last. There had to be something better.

My parents had moved to Kensington, MD to begin working in the Washington DC Temple in 1976. Kerry had begun working there when it was first built, and had seen it under construction during his mission in the area 1971-1973.

In early 1977 I was invited to come and work there, too. I moved there April 14.

I began working at the Temple April 15.

I met Kerry April 16.

There was a full working cafeteria in the basement, and I hadn't had a chance to hem up my long white dress. I walked past his table, and fell flat on my face.

He found where I lived after about two weeks, and asked me out. That date was okay, but nothing to swoon over. Then, he asked again...and again...and again...

One night in June, we were at my parents' watching "Rich Man Poor Man", and he just kept hanging around. We both had to be at work early the next morning, and he needed to go home. I sat there holding one eye open, letting the other eye sleep for awhile. Then, I would switch.

I finally got up and went into the bathroom. When I came back, he was kneeling by the couch praying. When he finished, I walked into the room.

He hemmed and hawed.

Then, he asked me to be his wife.

I had to hold my face together, and said I would have to think about it.

A week went by. Finally, my dad asked me if I had given him an answer yet. No.

He asked how long I was going to make him wait. I don't know.

He said, "Peggy, you need to think long and hard about this. He's a fine boy. And, how many people do you think would be willing to live with YOU?"

Oh, alright.

I thought about it. I weighed the pros and cons. I decided on yes, and it felt right.

But, I didn't love him.

The planning began, and as we got closer to the date of December 1, I realized that he really was a good man, and had come from a really good family. And, I needed to realize that perhaps my parents had seen something in him that I hadn't seen.

We married on a drizzly December day, and it was the best decision I have ever made in my life -- the right person at the right time in the right place.

Kerry is the best person I have ever met and known in my entire life. We are smitten with each other -- even after 41 years. When we've been apart even for a little while, it's like we've been apart for months.

When I was younger, I didn't have enough sense to:

1. Look for a man who would change diapers right along beside me.

2. Be up past midnight helping me finish up cleaning and canning a bushel of pears or apricots.

3. Continually bring his family together for family prayer, and pack the family up to bring us to church; sitting with us and singing at the top of his lungs.

4. Look for a man who loved God more than he loved me.

Kerry is the type of person who is good when no one is looking; pure integrity.

Recently, he was sitting beside me watching "The Wizard of Oz" twice in the same night from beginning to end. We all know what happens at the end of that movie when Dorothy is proclaiming, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

Kerry's tears are falling down his face and falling on to his shirt. He's also laughing at the same time.

That night, a FB friend chided me for posting that. Trust me...Kerry's name is perfectly safe with me. It's a tender part of his persona that we giggle at. And, he doesn't mind he knows it.

You will never, ever hear me say anything bad about him. I weary of both men and women who gripe and complain about their spouse. Sorry...it doesn't make them look bad. It makes you look like you didn't have enough sense to choose someone better. If Kerry and I have something to discuss and deal with, there are only two people who will know about it. Us.

I hear his prayers as he petitions the Lord for the safety and protection of his children, and for us.

I hear him pour out his gratitude in prayer for the blessings we both have been given.

And, I rejoice when he picks me up from the airport and embraces me in his big wingspan.

This man is a good, good man...the best person that has ever been in my life. If I had not married him, it would have been the single biggest mistake of my life.

I will always be grateful that the Lord allowed our paths to cross...a young man from CA who moved to UT, and met a girl from OH in DC. It was meant to happen.

And, I know that.

So, this finishes off another month of gratitude posts for Miss Peggy, though I could post one every single day the rest of my life and never be finished.

My heart is filled with gratitude at all times, in all things, and in all places.

Gratitude Day #30 - Mr. Kerry - 30 Nov 2017

Today I am grateful for Mr. Kerry.

Forty years ago today, I was a nervous, young 22-year old girl about to be married the next day. I had met a man that seemed to love me with all his heart, who I had grown quite fond of, and had asked me to be his wife for eternity.

I hadn't loved him at first, but I was slowly getting there.

He treated me like a lady; opening doors...and still does. Pulling my chair out for me...and still does. Helping me with my coat...and still does.

My parents adored him. And, when I had taken a few days to give him my answer after he proposed, my dad asked me when I was going to give him an answer.

Me: "I don't know".

Dad: "You had better think real hard about this. For how many people do you think are going to be willing to live with YOU?"

Sigh...they loved him. They tolerated me.

Through the years, Kerry and I have:
Moved from Washington, DC to Ohio.
Born and raised four children to adulthood.
Buried one of those children.
Acquired a whole passel of grandchildren.
Traveled to all fifty states.
Bought a home.
Supported Kerry as he worked 30 years as a letter carrier supporting our family.
Buried our parents.
Buried one of his siblings.
Rejoiced over choices adult children have made.
Grieved over choices adult children have made.
Wept with joy.
Wept with fear.
Wept at loss.
Wept.
Devoted our lives to serving God and serving others.

The final words my mother said to me on the day we married still echo in my ears. Her mantra: "Root hog, or die."

What?

In other words, honey...you're on your own. Don't expect anyone to carry you now. You're a big ol' married girl, and it's your responsibility to make it without relying on anyone else from now on.

A true statement. And, we have done it.

There has not been one single moment in forty years of marriage that I ever regretted marrying him.

Not one moment.

There has been frustrations as someone who was raised as an only child blended with someone who cane from a family of eleven children.

But, we have done it. And, we're going to keep on doing it.

Kerry is the best person I have ever known in my life, for he is a man filled with integrity -- the type of person who is good when no one is watching.

God bless this good man.

And now, this is the end of my gratitude posts. I have done one each day for thirty days, and could go on every day the rest of my life and never run out of things to be thankful for.

Because...that is what I have chosen.

Love to you all...

Wedding day at the Washington Temple - 1 Dec 1977

Wedding Wednesday - Lauritzen/Terry Marriage

What a strikingly beautiful couple!

Peter Lauritzen and Mary Loanna Terry on their wedding day.

22 May 1901

Married in the Manti Temple, Sanpete County, Utah

This young bride and groom would eventually welcome twelve children into their family, with my father-in-law, Orson William Lauritzen being the tenth child.

At some point, it becomes just the two of us again.

Peter and Mary Loanna Terry Lauritzen

And one day, we become single again.

Peter Lauritzen, approximately a year before he died in 1962.

Two Young Mountain Folks Get Married

Today would have beent he 80th wedding anniversary of my parents.

I am fortunate to have the journals written by my mother in the 1970's, so here is her account of their wedding day.  I have transcribed it exactly as she wrote it, so if you're not from eastern Kentucky, or thereabouts, it might be a bit of a challenge to read.  She was only able to attend school until 8th grade.

Part 1:

Ida Stevens Clemens’ Personal Journal Writings

Written by her own hand during the later years of her life – probably 1970’s

So we was a happy family and mother always like to fix a good dinner and invite all our friends in Mrs. Watt Hillman always had Christmas dinner with us for about 12 or 14 years straight.

My dad never did no his birthday for sure so he made him a birthday the 6 day of November and mother & I had him a surprise dinner we had friends already there when he came home from work he was about 37 years old when he had his first birthday dinner.

When I was about 18 years old I had made up my mind to be married so my mom & dad told me I could get married and my cousin Burl Stevens and Blanch Newland got married on the 28 day of January and on Sunday my Husband to be Chester Lee Clemens and I went up we was all ready to take off.  too my uncle Eddie’s to a Wedding dinner so we all had a good day and went out for a walk and took some pictures of the lime stone mines where my father worked so we came home that Sunday night and Clemens ask my dad if we could get married so he said yes so the next morning my darling went to town Olive Hill Ky and got my wedding dress.  He got a very pretty one navy blue with a tan stripe in it it sure was pretty and he got me a nice scarf too so we was all ready to take off.  We wanted to go to morehead KY and be married by the Judge {?} in rowan co. 

We didn’t have no car but Richard & Alice Newton to go and drive the car and be or witness so we was on our way by noon {12} the weather was ice and plenty off mud and no good road at Lawton at the time in 1932.

Clemens had to put the battery in the car so he didnt no how and go up under and got battery watter in his eys and he took like he had been crying all day and people would ask him if he was hurt be cause he was getting married we was late getting back for we had got stuck in the mud and Clemens had to get out and pust so we looked like mud dobers when we got home all our friend was there really work on us.  They carried Clemens down to the store on a poll and they all fell down and the poll held them down there and Clemens just sat there and didn’t get of the poll so we finlay did get down to the store and we bought candy to treat our friends on and then they bought us pillows.

So this was our wedding night of Feb 1th of 1932 at Lawton Ky in carter co.

So the next day.  We went to visit his folks who lives near by in a place called Todd town at Lawton Ky.  So we lived with his folks about three weeks.  And then came back to my father home and lived up stairs till we got our house built.  We builted a small too room house and went too house keeping for our selves the 29 of march 1932.  On my dad farm he helped he started the too room and house and finished it up put a kitchen & electric and weather bording on it and built a barn and lived there about 5 years Clemens got 2.00 a day for 10 hours.  That was 12.00 a week we got along pretty good dad gaive me a cow she was a young Jersey.  We bought our furniture from Clemens sister Nellie tabor. 

Part 2:

Ida Stephens Clemens married Chester Lee Clemens, Feb 1 1932.

We went to more head Ky to be married it was on a Monday we got back to my dads after dark people was all ready there to sarahnaid us we ait our Supper a _____ it was so cold & snow & mud and Ice Alice & Richard Hillman took us in  his dads old chev car.  The Boys all carried Clem down to the Store on a big pole thay fell down with the poll and Clem just set there and thay couldent get up.  We treated them with candy & cigars. And that Bought us a pr of pillows.

Part 3:

Wedding Day   Feb 1 1932

We were married on a mondy in morehead Ky in Rowan co it was a cold day muddy & some Ice & Snow.  Richard Hill & his wife Alice took us to morehead in Clem Father old 27 chev car.  Clem put the Battery in the car and got acd in his eyes he look like he was crying all day.  We had a late meal in Shouder Ky

When we got home it was dark the neighbors was there to bell us. That beat on dishpans shot off Guns and rode Clem on a pail down to the Store they fell down and Clem just sit on the rail and thay couldint get up.  We all finley arrived at the Store we Bought candy & cigar and treated ever one and thay Bought us a pair of pillows for our bed.  Chester walked to Olive Hill and got me a dress for the wedding & a Scarf he Started about 4 AM in the morning and was back before 8.AM.  My dress at  the neck line.  He wore a Navy Blue Surge Suit.  We stayed all night at my dads House in Lawton Ky a big 7 room house up the Hollow behind Watt Hillman Store.  We had a big dinner at my mom and Dads House the next day and we went down to Chester mom & Dad House the next day we Stayed at my mom and Dads House till we went to House Keeping the 29 of March 1932.  We builted us a nice too room Houe.  We had 1 bed 1 dresser a big pot belled Stove in one room.  The kitchen.  We had a cook Stove a big round table and a dish Shelf.  And Clem Bought us a big Sow Hog so we had our meat for the next winter.  We had a garden & caned & dad give us a young Jersey cow.  Clem didn’t make much at that time he only made .20 pr Hr 12.00 a week to live on he worked 10 Hr a Day

Chester Lee and Ida Stevens Clemens, shortly after their wedding in 1932

Chester and Ida in 1982, 50 years later

I am also fortunate to have a personal history written by my dad during the 1970's.  Here is his story of their wedding:

As I mentioned before I met my boss’es daughter after I came back from school at Berea College, in Berea, Ky and after about two years we decided to get married, and a funny thing happened, neither of her parents wanted us to marry, but I perposed to her one Sunday afternoon and we both asked her parents if it was O.K. with them and her father finally said yes but her mother never would agree to it so I went to Olive Hill the next morning and got our marriage license and we got Richard Hillman to drive us to Morehead, Ky. And we were married by the Justice Of Peace and when her Father came in from work that afternoon and found that we were married, he said he felt a little left out because we didn’t let him know that we were getting married so soon and didn’t invite him to our wedding and he said that, I felt bad, about but we were afraid he would back on his agreement but I will say that I could never have had a better pair of in-lawsif I had searched the world over, they treated me like I was their own son and I feel that I can never repay them for being so good to me.  He even helped us to build a small house on his property and that is where our oldest daughter Fern was born and Jean was born there two years later.



They had everything going against them and everything going for them.  They married during the Depression, but according to Mom they never knew a Depression was even going on.  They "made do", having learned that trait from both of their own parents.  They raised a family.  They became addicted to cigarettes, like everyone else of that time period.  Dad worked in the coal mines, then was the only one in the coal camp drafted to go into the Navy and on to Pearl Harbor.  Mom stayed at home and raised three little girls on mostly beans and cornbread. 

They taught me a lot, probably without ever even knowing it.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Kerry and Peggy Fall In Love!

Kerry and Peggy Fall in Love

I never expected to ever get married.

As a young girl, I was always heavy.  Heavy girls are usually poked fun at, laughed at, have horrible sounds made when they pass by.  It can do a lot of damage to one's self-image and self-esteem.  Hence, I not only had low self-esteem as a youth, I had no self-esteem. 

The Washington Temple was nearing its completion, and my parents and I were excited for the open house that would take place in the summer of 1974.  I had never been near a temple before, and I fell in love with it immediately.  It was so peaceful and serene there - I didn't want to leave.  I went through on the tour at least twelve times. 

Later that day, we drove on into Virginia.  We stayed at a beautiful campground.  My parents and I were discussing where we should go the next day.  I immediately piped up and said I wanted to go back and tour the temple again.  We did, and I went on 13 more tours. 

I couldn't get enough.

My parents moved to work in the Washington Temple in Oct 1976.  I was in awe as I watched them prepare to sell their home and make a new one in the Washington area.  I wanted to be like them so much.

In March of 1977, I was invited to also work in the Washington Temple.  I couldn't believe it, for I thought you had to be really special to work there.  I made a special trip for an interview and was told that I was hired. 

Little did I know that my path had already crossed with Mr. Kerry's path several times.  He was on security during the open house.  He was there to check cars at the gatehouse when my friend, Janet and I drove there for my interview.

I moved there April 14.  I went through the temple April 15.  I met Kerry April 16. 

Kerry and I met while I was greeting another friend of mine in the temple cafeteria.  I didn't think too much about him.  But, apparently he saw something in me that peaked his interest.  He called around and found out who I was, where I lived, and made contact with me.  I didn't even remember him.  He asked me out on a date, and since he worked at the temple, I said yes - even if I didn't remember him, I figure he's probably be safe.

Our first date was April 30.  We went to a movie (Freaky Friday), had dinner, and went to a Baltimore Oriole's baseball game.  I had a nice time, but I really wasn't that impressed with him.  He greased his hair down and reminded me of Bowser from Sha-na-na.

He continued to ask me out.  I agreed, but kept saying to myself that I probably wouldn't go out with him any more.  But, I kept saying yes.  I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Toward the end of June, we were watching "Rich Man, Poor Man" at my parents' apartment.  They had gone to bed.  Kerry kept hanging on and on and not leaving.  I was tired.  I was bored.  I was waiting for him to leave.  I would lean on my hand and leave one eye open while the other slept for awhile.  Then I would switch hands and switch eyes so the other eye slept for awhile. 

Finally, I got up to use the bathroom, thinking he would get the message and leave.  When I came back into the living room, he was kneeling on the floor praying.  I didn't know what to think.  When he finished, I sat down and waited some more.  He remained on the floor.

In the next few minutes, he quietly asked me if I would be his wife for eternity.  Good grief!  I had to hold my face together to keep from laughing.  I told him I would let him know before long.

A week went by.  Sisters Fern and Jean and nephews Dave and Steve had come for a visit, and they all seemed to like him.  Fern got his head down in the kitchen sink and washed his hair.  I'm not sure if she used something like a Brillo pad or not, for his hair seemed to have a lot of grease on it.  She blew it dry and he looked great!

One day, my dad asked me if I had given that young man an answer yet.  I said no.  He wondered why not!  It wasn't fair to keep him hanging on.  Was I waiting on God to straight out tell me?

I pretty much said that I was.  He wagged his head and said I should know how to get an answer to a prayer.  I needed to make my decision, then take it to the Lord for confirmation.  I knew that - I just needed to be reminded.

I listed the pros and cons of Mr. Kerry.  There were far more pros than there were cons.  He was a good young man, he was worthy in every way to enter the temple every day, he held the priesthood, he was active in our religions, he cleaned up real good, etc.

But, I didn't love him.

My dad - my own father - reminded me to consider just how many people would be willing to live with me.  Both my parents really liked him.

I made the decision to tell him yes.  I wrote my answer on a card and quoted a verse from the book of Ruth - "Entreat me not to leave thee or refrain from following after thee.  For whither though goest I will go.  And whither thou lodgest I will lodge.  Thy people will be my people and thy god my god."

Little did I know that at the same time I was in the temple praying earnestly about this, he was outside near some trees praying, as well.

He flipped out.  We told my parents.  He called his parents.  We told temple workers.  Every one was thrilled!!

Except me.  I didn't love him.

He gave me my ring on my birthday.  We flew to Utah in August so I could meet his parents and family.  Things were in motion as we set our date for December 1.

But, I didn't love him.

The date was getting closer.  One day in October, we were walking to my parents' apartment from the temple through a beautiful neighborhood.  Soon, we heard a car turn onto the street we were walking on with some boys loudly shouting.  We both bristled as we heard what could have been a gunshot or the car backfiring.  In the Washington suburbs, it could be either one. 

The car approached us with the boys yelling and the loud sound that scared us.  As that "shot" came very close to us, Kerry immediately pushed me to the ground and covered my body with his.  The car drove on past.  When they were quite a distance away, Kerry helped me to my feet and made sure I was okay. 

I looked at him a little bit differently beginning at that very moment.  He was ready to protect my body with his at the risk of being injured!  It was truly a turning point for me, for I had always wondered what would happen if I married him and somebody better came along.

I have grown to accept the fact that it would never happen.  Nobody could ever come along.  As I look back on the 34 years we've been married, I now realize how much the hand of the Lord took part in all of this.  Kerry was born in California, at 16 he moved to Utah, served his mission in the Delaware/Maryland mission, returned there after his mission to work in the temple.  I'm from Ohio - and yet we meet in the Washington area.

This was not by happenstance.

He is truly the best person I have ever known in my life.  He makes me laugh.  He adores me and has never said one bad thing about my cooking.  He still opens doors for me and pouts if I jump out before letting him. 

He's the man of my dreams!

Happy Anniversary, dear Kerry!  I love you so...