Today We Rejoice, and Not Mourn

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him.

You see, it was 39 years ago today that I embarked on the most important and the most difficult adventure of my life.

I became a mother.

I relive this day every single year, for many women recall things by pregnancies. They'll say:

"Oh, that was right before I had..."

OR

"We went there right after ...was born"

On this day 39 years ago, Kerry had rushed home from work and was trying to convince me to go to the hospital. I was "nesting", and running around getting things ready. I thought I had some time left.

He finally got me in the car to drive the two blocks to the hospital, where later that evening I delivered Peter William Lauritzen, weighing in at 10 lb 6 oz. He was dubbed the "King of the Nursery".

I felt like I had given birth to a toddler. When I went to see him in the nursery, he held his head up to look at me.

I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I had grown up as an only child. Kerry, the middle child of eleven, taught me so many things about babies. There were times Peter would be crying, and my tears were mixing along with his.

Most of our mistakes are made on the first child, for they're the ones we're trying out all of the advice from books and other mothers on.

Peter was a good baby and a good child, which made it alright to have three more. We thought they would all be like him. They weren't. We didn't have cookie-cutter children. They all came with their own distinct personalities.

Peter is gone now. His life was cut too short by disease and drugs. And, we grieve every day at our loss. We often wonder what he would look like as a man approaching forty...

Would he still have been on drugs?

Would he still have maintained his wonderful musical talent?

Would his nature still have been kind and gentle?

Would he step up and be looking after us?

You raise your oldest child to be your oldest child; the one you sort of look to as we begin looking at choices we'll have to make down the road.

But, rather than dwell on his death today, I will celebrate the fact that I had the honor of bringing this sweet boy into the world. I wouldn't be who I am today if I had not had the experiences of raising a family, and he started it all out. I learned service, and I learned sacrifice in the best scenario possible -- in my own home.

I also learned that adults produce children. But, even more importantly, children produce adults.

Happy heavenly birthday, dear Peter...we can hardly wait to hold you once again...

Gratitude Day #19 - Family Gatherings and Celebrations - 19 Nov 2017

Today I am grateful for family celebrations and gatherings.

It was forty years ago today that friends threw a wedding shower for me. I thought for sure I had scanned the photos from that event, and will be nervous until I locate them.

But, friends from the Washington DC area put on a wonderful wedding shower for me. And, forty years later I am still using the things they gave to me!

I still have the recipe box filled with their favorite recipes. I have aprons, towels (yes, 40-year old towels!), and other cherished items from that day when friends gathered to get me started on married life.

I am grateful for the momentous occasions we have celebrated in my own family's life:

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary

Kerry's parents 50th wedding anniversary

My sisters' anniversaries

The blessings (christenings) of each of our children

The baptisms of each of our children

The college graduations and gatherings

I could go on and on...and so could you.

Each of these events I've mentioned bring back a flood of memories as we commemorated the birth or the choices or the achievements of a beloved family member or friend.

We definitely believe in celebrating milestone events. And, there's always food. There has to be food.

I'm grateful for the gatherings that tie us and bind us closer together. Just looking through the few photos I attached brought back warm feelings as I recalled the event.

But today, I'm thinking about a 22-year old girl who was being showered with gifts as she began a brand new phase of her life.

Peggy being baptized by her dad, Chester Clemens

Kerry's retirement day, Apr 2010

Peter was baptized in Utah

Harmony's blessing dress was made by her grandmother Shirley Lauritzen

Jordan was the first to receive a college degree

Erik's baptism day brought his grandparents from Utah.  They attended every birth and baptism.

Chester and Ida Clemens were married 50 years.

Orson and Shirley Lauritzen were married 50 years.

Treasuring Our Homes and Our Families

I have an article that recently resurfaced at a local establishment.  A friend of ours saw it, and took a picture of it.

I had no idea that it had been hanging there since Aug 2009!  

A number of people asked if I still had the original so they could get a better look at it.  So, here it is:

Treasuring Our Homes and Our Families

Peggy L. Lauritzen

I love my home and my family.

The world I grew up in doesn’t seem to exist anymore.  My father went to work and my mother stayed home.  Both were productive and were devoted to providing a place that I could feel safe in.  The black and white television shows didn’t need to be monitored by my parents, for they were safe.  Ward and June Cleaver took the time to teach their boys good morals, Lucy was still learning lessons from Ricky for not thinking things through, and Barney Fyffe was frantically trying to uphold the law while Sheriff Andy Taylor was calmly teaching the community and his boy, Opie how to get along with each other.

It’s difficult to find those elements today, both on television and in our own lives.   But, it can be done if we make our homes and our families our number one priority.

We have a solemn responsibility to love and care for our families.  The relationship we enter into as husband and wife is second only to the relationship we have with our God.  It requires nourishment.  It requires patience.  It requires putting that person above every other person on earth.  Second to that is the relationship we have with our children.  When each of our family members enters into their home, it should be a sanctuary and a refuge against everything else.

Growing up in Mansfield has proven to be a blessing.  As a youth, I moved to the bigger city of Akron, and eventually the suburbs of Washington, DC, where I met my husband.  They were exciting places to live and offered many artistic and cultural opportunities that enriched our lives.  But when our family started to come, we both knew we didn’t want to live in a large city.

We came back to my hometown.

It certainly had its challenges.  Early on, we decided that we would take the advice of wise ecclesiastical leaders and do whatever we could to keep mom at home.  As we grew into a family of six, it took great effort and working together to keep everyone fed and clothed on a single income.  There were even times I longed to go back to work to get some rest!

But, we did it.  We took advantage of every single opportunity that we could think of that would enrich our lives.  Farmer’s markets and pick-your-own fruits and vegetables helped us make ends meet when our attempts at a garden were not always successful.  Opportunities for stretching our imagination and learning existed in library programs and used book sales.  Watching fireworks and taking part in parades contributed to our patriotism.

On those rare days when all six of us were home together, we would drive short distances to see how people who seemed to come from a different era of time live their lives.  We breakfasted by a covered bridge and roasted day-old donuts on a campfire in the backyard while looking up and making shapes out of the clouds.  At night, we would marvel at the constellations that can be seen only when it is completely dark – something that one misses living in the city.

Now, those children are gone – mostly off to bigger cities.  But, they love reminiscing about home when we talk.  In many ways, they have tried to recreate those same simple times of their youth.

It’s just the two of us now.  We are best friends, for we nourished our relationship even while raising our four children.  We live in a different day than when we raised our children, and certainly different from the times we were raised in.  News comes to us daily of terrorism threats, violent weather, violence between people, and the degrading of moral values.  But, living in a tranquil area helps me to be able to handle bad news no matter where or who it comes from.   A wise man once said “the world sees peace as being without conflict or pain.  But, we can have peace amidst the conflict.” 

Our homes can be that place where we have peace.  As we practice love, faith, prayer, forgiveness, respect, compassion, service, and wholesome lives, we will find that we can have that haven of peace that others will look to and long to have.  Exercise those attributes with own selves first.  The feelings of being stressed and frantic will always be in front of us – but knowing we have peace in our homes can readily provide the sanctity we need.

Is this a Pollyanna dream?  Perhaps.  Can it be done?  It can.  We have the tools and the resources all around us.  If we have the desire, there are many ways to make these things happen.

Consider it.

Mansfield News Journal, about August 2009

Set in Stone

It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

You raise your oldest child to be your oldest child.  They are the ones you can usually count on to move into adulthood with you before the younger children, to look out for you and your spouse, to help make some decisions, to talk to about plans when you can't care for yourself anymore.

They are not supposed to be buried before you.

Peter William Lauritzen was our oldest child.  He was born when we were still growing up ourselves.  He's the one we made our parenting blunders on.

He was the oldest of our four children.  They were stairsteps, for the fourth one was born when Peter was only five years old.  He didn't like the other kids coming along, for he enjoyed being with just us.  But, they kept on coming.

He grew into a handsome young man, developing his piano talents along the way.  He truly had a musical gift, for when he played, people would stop in their tracks to listen to him play.

After serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he fell into a lifestyle completely foreign to us.  It took him further and further away from family and the values he had been raised with.  He became someone we didn't recognize anymore.

He delved deeper into drugs and alcohol and illicit moral activity.  His body became ravaged and diseased.  It was difficult to recognize him anymore.

One afternoon, after spending time with my son and his family, I came home to hear the phone ringing.  Though there were many things to do after being gone all day, I knew I had to answer it.  After a few questions from those on the other end, I knew what was coming.  Peter had died.

I quickly got in touch with my sons and my husband.  All of them rushed home.  Through the evening, these young men guided their parents into thinking straight.  I was scheduled for surgery the next day.  Peter's body and belongings were in Florida.  While the world was spinning around me, I felt strangely still.

Now, nearly three years later, Peter's stone is in place.  It took me awhile.  There were many times that Kerry and I drove to the monument company to look over stones and make a selection.  But, after driving there, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

But now, it's done.  His final resting place is marked.  There's nothing more I can do for him.

But, parents just are supposed to outlive their kids.  It's not supposed to work that way...but, sometimes it does.

Rest in peace, my beloved son...

Peter William Lauritzen, Washington Village Cemetery, Richland Co., Ohio.